What It’s Like to Have a Long-Distance Marriage Because of Coronavirus

In our What It’s Like series, we speak with people from a wide range of backgrounds about how their lives have changed as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. For this installment, we spoke with Isabel Thomson-Officer, an Australian who is separated from her husband of two years due to travel interruptions as a result of the new coronavirus. She went to Australia in early March, and what was supposed to be a two-week trip has become indefinite. Her husband, Jessie, is riding out the pandemic at their home in New York City—one of the places worst-hit by COVID-19 in the world. Over 10,000 miles apart, they don’t know when they’ll see each other again. Before this, the most time they’d ever spent apart was three weeks.

Here, Thomson-Officer explains how COVID-19 has impacted her relationship, how she and her husband are managing being on opposite sides of the world with a 14-hour time difference, and what’s keeping her hopeful as she’s longing to be back at home with the love of her life. (Her answers have been edited and condensed for clarity.)

SELF: Tell me about how you ended up in Melbourne, Australia, while your husband, Jessie, is in Brooklyn.

I.T.O.: I’m Australian and have been living in New York for the last six years. I came out to Melbourne in early March for a friend’s wedding and to visit my family. It was meant to be a two-week trip. When I landed in Australia on March 7th, I’ll admit that I was shocked by some Australians’ bizarre obsession with hoarding toilet paper. You couldn’t buy it anywhere!

Ten days into my trip, the world changed very quickly. In mid-March, Australia issued a warning telling Australians not to travel abroad. At the same time, the pandemic started to take a firm hold in the States, particularly in New York.

When did you realizeBring us back to the moment you realized you wouldn’t be able to leave Australia and reunite with your husband in New York City?

A week into my trip back home, I attended my friend’s wedding. It was beautiful and so great to see many old friends I hadn’t seen in years. However, I was already beginning to feel a bit nervous about the way things were heading. It was starting to feel weird to be around so many people at once.

March 18th was when it hit home. I had a flight scheduled back to NYC for March 22nd, and I was beginning to think I possibly wouldn’t be able to take it. After speaking with my husband and family, I decided I would fly back to NYC on the evening of March 18th, so I panicked and bought a flight. But then I found out that Australia’s government was calling for Australians who were abroad to return from overseas before it became harder to do so because of border closures.

After a lot of tears and phone calls with Jessie, we agreed the best thing would be for me to stay put in Melbourne and see the pandemic out here. Things in New York weren’t looking good, everything was so uncertain, and it’s not a great time to be traveling. We both felt that it could also put others at risk if I did so.

I canceled my flight for that evening. I was gutted and in utter disbelief at how much had changed in just a few short weeks. It was a tough decision but ultimately the smartest one we could make.

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