Coronavirus Is Seriously Triggering My OCD

OCD thrives on doubt and uncertainty. For many of us, compulsive behaviors arise as our brains’ way of trying to make sure the fears we obsess over don’t come to pass. I was able to get my OCD under control post-loss through talk therapy and journaling. I realized that learning to manage my OCD would involve acknowledging my worries—and not doing busy work in response to them. Over the years, I’ve become more attuned to my triggers and am able to redirect my energy into things requiring my full attention like exercising, baking, or going outside. My daily deep cleaning routine simmered to weekly, then every other week. I was ultimately able to stretch it to every three weeks. It’s been a relief.

Then the new coronavirus outbreak began.

It’s no surprise that this pandemic is triggering my OCD.

Remember how I mentioned that OCD thrives on uncertainty? Questions about this disease, the struggling economy, and my personal financial worries have spurred an uptick in my urge to clean. I constantly wonder if I am cleaning enough—especially due to all the advice about frequently disinfecting ourselves and our homes—even though my rational side tells me I’m back to cleaning too much. I wonder if I have the right cleaning products, and if I’ll have enough products to keep cleaning in the future. Before all of this happened, I didn’t stock up on cleaning products beyond my normal needs, and now they’re much harder to find. Layer on the fact that I have a school-age child and a husband who is way laxer about germs than I am, and I’ve been fighting the urge to start washing the walls in bleach. (I’ve done that, and I don’t recommend it.)

These urges, although uncomfortable, are almost guaranteed for people with OCD given the circumstances. Managing OCD is a lifelong journey that requires diligence, determination, and constant evaluation, Yip explains, and certain emotional states can absolutely inflame symptoms. One is when you’re completely overwhelmed and distressed, which certainly fits right now. The other is when you’re underwhelmed and bored, which can also be the case if you’re stuck at home for the foreseeable future. When you’re overwhelmed, your mental resources are taxed, eliminating your ability to attend to your world in a more rational way. When you’re bored, your mind can wander to the scary places.

The takeaway is that if you have OCD that’s more intense than normal right now, that makes a lot of sense. So does not having OCD and still feeling a new, increased fear of germs along with an urge to clean or otherwise try to protect yourself in a way that you’re not sure is rational since there’s so much we still don’t know about the new coronavirus, Yip explains. Either way, there are also steps you can try to manage new urges and obsessive thoughts (and OCD symptoms if necessary) in this extremely triggering situation. Here are Yip’s suggestions.

1. Try journaling if you haven’t already.

I love this tip. Journaling regularly has helped me dig into how my emotions are connected to my actions. I’ll never forget the moment when I confessed in my journal how exhausted I was from cleaning so much.

In the past, journaling has helped me decide if my actions were justified or a compulsive reaction that would only make me feel comfortable for a bit all while reinforcing my disorder. It also offered me a judgment-free space to be mad at people (or circumstances) and say exactly what I wanted since I was the only one reading it. I’m hoping it can help me in those ways now, too. Even though it can be hard to know exactly what’s reasonable in this situation, journaling continues to help me make sense of my emotions. I’m able to collect my thoughts and fears and realize I’m doing all I can to stay safe by following government guidelines. It also helps me be mindful of my thought process so I know when my fears are spiraling and causing my urges to clean more.

2. Write out all your worries for 15 minutes.

If you want to take your journaling up a notch (or haven’t found journaling very helpful in the past), try doing 15 minutes of what Yip calls “worry time.” For 15 minutes, write out your worries (physically, if you can, rather than typing them out). If you run out of worries before 15 minutes, rewrite them. Externalizing your worries can create something more tangible to process or problem-solve, Yip says.

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