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There are few times the words “sex” and “service” usually fall in the same sentence (unless we’re talking about the rights and protections that sex workers deserve, hey-O). All types of sex — phone, shower, breakup — need to be consensual. And when it comes to getting frisky, everything you do should be because you want to be doing it. Yet, if your love language is acts of service, or if you’re the type of person to whom actions speak louder than words, knowing the right moves between the sheets may make all the difference when having the best sex for you.
“Those who respond well to acts of service are creatures who thrive off of validation — when giving someone pleasure we get the real time validation from what were doing,” Lola Jean, sex educator and mental health professional, tells Elite Daily. “Positions where you can see your partners face are going to be ideal for these individuals.” Acts of service can range from helping carry your boo’s groceries to getting their car oil changed for them (aroused thinking about that one).
If the little things mean the most and acts of service are the way to your heart, these four moves may be just what you’ve been missing.
Oral On Knees
According to Jean, giving or getting oral on your knees can add the ultimate connection to your sex life. “Because not all sex has to be penetrative what better way to show your gratitude than from on your knees,” Jean says. “The position of looking up at your partner while you service them orally not only can denote taking but can give direct feedback as to how they are enjoying you by reading their face.” If you’re more show than tell, oral sex may be the perfect lip service, without any talking.
If your prefer to keep your sex more lateral, getting frisky while spooning can be the perfect mix of sweet and sexy. “Whether you are penetrating your partner vaginally, anally or with a sneaky well placed digit, spoon sex can be great to not only provide pleasure but for comfort as well,” Jean says.” “This position you can really give your partner a 360 on pleasure. And what is more validating than that?” If you and your partner like to switch off who’s big spoon, spoon sex can be a creative way to try new things while keeping everyone comfortable.
If you or your boo are yoga buffs, this position is a sexy spin on the traditional “lotus” pose (that’s criss-cross applesauce, for the rest of us). Have the penetrating partner sit up with legs crossed, and the receiving partner sit facing the penetrating partner, with their legs around the penetrating partner. “[Lotus is] a great position because of its connectedness,” Jean says. “This is the ultimate face to face position where either party can choose to do more of the work — whether you want to offer your body or by doing the heavy lifting, gaze into their eyes and read their body language for the nonverbal communication money can’t buy.” If actions speak louder than words, the best sex for you may mean more touching and less talking.
Pleasure Your Boo
Of course, when it comes down it to, if you’re into acts of service, the best move for you may be focusing on the other person. Jeans suggests getting frisky with someone other than your own genitals. “Ultimate act of service? Sacrifice yourself to the pleasure gods,” Jean says. “Have them receive pleasure while you do not. Wear a thigh strap on, a chastity device, or a heavy duty cock sheath and prepare to serve.” Of course, using fingers or vibrators could be what works for you as well.
If your love language is acts of service, sex can be a way to show someone how you really feel. And if you’re getting it on with other consenting adults, there is no wrong way to do it. Have at it!
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